Monday, 5 December 2011

On why Triathlon is not a Tanzanian Sport and Witch Doctors

The girls I left behind.
Breaking news!!! By this I mean nearly breaking news as I have now had my first cycling accident since childhood, but without actually breaking anything other than a possible rib or two. I have come off numerous motorcycles in my time racing the odd track and once when seeing earth sky earth sky having borrowed a Suzuki GSXR 750 for a trip up north which ended up in A&E. 

My new Aero Machine......NOT
So I thought out here I would be safe on two wheels using pedal power forgetting all I had seen when running. The rule of the road here is simple, have car am tank...lesser mortals on foot or bike don't exist. I have traded my beloved bikes in the UK for a new (17 years old) Chinese.....Jalopy. I wouldn't say that the list of faults can't be sorted with a 26oz lump hammer but had I had one on me when I came round I think I would have given it a good go. 

Handlebar and brake impact

I have to blame my Physio for my injuries, not because he was  driving the car that pushed me into the drainage ditch, but because he said to lay off running and try cycling a lot more whilst out here. In fairness he said I'm too old for any of this stuff and I should know better but as long as I keep breaking bits of me he has promised to keep bending them back into some kind of ergonomic shape. So Andy to my back and knee I can now add ribs.

Left knee gravel rash.
Other than taking the full force of the handlebars into my chest and stomach I have added a rather distinctive deep gravel scrape to my left knee. I am hoping this might actually now help with the inner knee pain I'm getting whilst running.

After the light concussion caused by an inability to breathe I managed with the help of a passing runner to pull myself out of the ditch and make the 1/2km home. I debated getting back on the bike but by this time I wasn't sure if my head was spinning because of the impact of the ditch or the complete lack of oxygen I was able to take on due to my constricted airway.

Zanner came home from the hospital and quickly arranged a trip into town to visit the X-ray and Ultra Sound guy. What a nutter!!! First he wanted to give Zanner an ankle X-ray but then got stroppy about us not putting on some rubber croc type shoes that had definitely seen better days. After I showed him my chest he changed the film and pushed me against a badly painted film holder. The X-ray would have been great if it hadn't had a huge exposure line down it that made it look like I had been impaled on a lamp post. The second attempt was little better but between the two we had a decent left right picture. Nothing serious but with Zanner and a paediatric colleague in tow they demanded an ultra-sound. Which was a little like some medieval torture as he pressed the probe onto the rather sore part of my chest as he gabbled away to Zanner out this organ and that organ not being punctured. 

Eventually he decided to squeeze my ribs firstly from the front; followed by much remonstrating by the two female doctors. I was then given light relief by his squeezing me from the side which seemed to allow me to breathe a little more easily. 

So any of you training back in the UK thinking it's a bit cold, a little wet or generally not very nice remember out here the cars really do see you as a target, the weather is too hot for anything other than training for the Marathon Des Sables and the bikes would qualify for the London to Brighton Veteran rally. 

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